Sunday, July 31, 2011

I Confess...

I confess... I went to David's Bridal with my bestie today, so she could try on her bridesmaids dress for her mom's wedding, and it may have set me back a couple notches on the healing scale... We joked about trying on wedding dresses, but had we actually done so I may have had a breakdown of some kind...

I confess... I think I have a Facebook addiction... Seriously, it's a little bit out of hand, anytime I'm minutely bored my phone is on Facebook! 

I confess... I think technology is ruining our communication skills as a whole. Whatever happened to talking on the phone for hours at a time? Or, hanging out and just chatting for that matter? When was the last time you wrote a letter with pen and paper?! That being said, I confess, I'm much more comfortable texting than talking on the phone...

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Is happiness really that easy?

I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I can't remember the last time I was truly happy. And this isn't another break up post, cause that's not what it is. I honestly am dealing with that, I honestly am moving on, moving forward. And maybe the realization that I wasn't happy then, is making that easier, but still, it's a pretty unsettling realization. Don't get me wrong, I have things that make me happy. Little one makes me happy, spending time with my friends and family make me happy. But, it's like I'm living an unhappy, unsatisfying life, with moments of happiness, instead of living a happy, fulfilling life, with moments of unhappiness. And, I'm not really sure what to do about it... It's said that if you want to be happy all you have to do is be happy. Say that you're happy, act like you're happy, and eventually you will be. But, can it possibly that easy? And, if so, how long, exactly, am I going to have to wait?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Just a few things.

Thing number one; I'm doing much better!! Thanks to the support of my family and my amazing friends. And all you fantastic people out there! Things are better. Good even. I'm moving forward.

Thing number two; My little jelly bean is going to start preschool soon!!!! Like two months soon, but still, I'm taking her the doctor to get her little physical paper filled out and then to the dentist! Every time I think about her starting school I get a little teary eyed. She's just getting so big so fast!! She's really excited about it though, so that relieves me a lot!

Thing number three; I really want to do a cleanse of some kind, I just don't really know where to begin. But I think it would be good for me, get all the toxins out of my body and what not.. So if anyone has any suggestions on that front, they would be appreciated! :)

And thing number four; Did you know that if you're in a relationship for a long period of time you forget how to be single? It's like you don't know what to do with yourself. I'm reintroducing myself to...myself. And I'm kind of an awesome person... (That sounded really conceited!) I've grown a lot in the past few years, and now in the past few weeks, and I like what I see. Hey guys, looks like I've grown up a little.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

You think you know someone...

So I was coping. Living. Attempting to move on with my life. I had even gone two whole days without crying. And then, I got on facebook. And its been less than two weeks. And he has a new girlfriend. (Add in certain expletive, but I'm censoring myself...) Are you for real? So it was all bull.... I was so mad, I can't even explain it. I have legitimately never been that pissed off in my entire life! I was shaking like a leaf on a tree, on a windy fall day. I was so mad, it made me dizzy. So everything he said to me. Lies. He couldn't "handle the distance?" He couldn't handle being around other females. God, she's not even pretty!! And yes, I'm bitter. And yes, I'm livid. I'm shaking right now just talking about it. I was trying to be so mature about everything. I was trying not to hate him. I was trying to understand. But now, I hate him. Now, I'll act like a crazy bitter ex. Now, I never want to see him again. And now, I'm done. I'm going to focus on me. I'm going to focus on my little one. I'm going to live my life, go out, be with the people that actually do care about me. And I'm going to try to forget him. Because clearly, he isn't the man I thought he was. He's just a little boy who can't handle real life.