In case you haven't seen this...
You should definitely watch it. It's sure to move you!
Watch "Zach Wahls Speaks About Family" on YouTube
I can't imagine how proud his mothers must be of him!
A look into my neurotic mind.
In case you haven't seen this...
You should definitely watch it. It's sure to move you!
Watch "Zach Wahls Speaks About Family" on YouTube
I can't imagine how proud his mothers must be of him!
Posted by NeuroticLover at 11:15 PM 1 comments
Posted by NeuroticLover at 9:02 AM 2 comments
Labels: Giveaway. Christmas. Fun.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 1:50 PM 2 comments
Labels: Life., Technology
Posted by NeuroticLover at 5:02 PM 2 comments
Posted by NeuroticLover at 12:13 AM 4 comments
Labels: Boredom. Late nights.
Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and put my fist through a wall... But then I realize it would be pointless, because I have no control over this situation. So now I get to sit back and watch it all fall apart and hope that there's still something left of you when it's over... And I'm afraid there won't be. I'm afraid that the next time he'll finish it, and that we'll all have to face the consequences of your decision without you.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 4:27 PM 0 comments
Labels: Life.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 8:51 AM 2 comments
Labels: Life., speaking out, SpiritDay
What gives a "man" the idea that he is indeed a man?
What makes him think he can put his hands on anyone?
What makes it okay to leave marks and bruises on another person,
Let alone a woman.
And better yet the woman you supposedly love?
I want to put the disclaimer out there that this post is not about me or the men in my life, but about someone very close to me.
Someone that, when I found out what happened, I wanted to cry, and when I got home I did.
I punched a wall, and screamed out loud at the fact that someone thought he had the right to lay his hands on her like that. I walked laps around the house and tried to calm myself down.
I attempted homework so I would stop thinking about it.
But I can't stop thinking about it.
I can't stop worrying about it.
I can't help but be afraid that this wasn't the last time.
I pray to God it was, but it scares me to know that there's a chance it wasn't.
Because see, I've been in this spot before.
I've had that friend that got beat up and went back.
And there's nothing anyone can do about it.
I like to think that with all of the support the person going through this now has she won't go back.
She appears to be done, and I thank God for that.
And I thank him that it's only some bumps and bruises, and nothing worse.
And for the fact that she let us all know what happened and didn't try to hide it.
I thank God that she has people who love and support her so she knows that this isn't okay.
And I just hope that once she comes out of this, she finds herself a real man.
Because all she's had in her life is "men" and if you've only ever had a man, you may not see the big difference here.
But let me tell you the difference is, in fact, big.
And it's easy to fall into "loving" a "man" it really is.
Finding a "man" is easy.
But finding a man takes time, patience, and faith.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan |
Michael Weatherly |
The Rock |
Cloris Leachman |
Betty White |
Alyssa Milano |
Posted by NeuroticLover at 10:45 AM 6 comments
Posted by NeuroticLover at 8:08 AM 1 comments
Labels: BabyGirl, best friends., Family, happiness, Life., Restarting. A new beginning.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 7:42 PM 6 comments
Labels: life, Restarting. A new beginning.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 11:05 PM 1 comments
Labels: Confessions.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 11:56 PM 2 comments
Labels: Life.
Thing number one; I'm doing much better!! Thanks to the support of my family and my amazing friends. And all you fantastic people out there! Things are better. Good even. I'm moving forward.
Thing number two; My little jelly bean is going to start preschool soon!!!! Like two months soon, but still, I'm taking her the doctor to get her little physical paper filled out and then to the dentist! Every time I think about her starting school I get a little teary eyed. She's just getting so big so fast!! She's really excited about it though, so that relieves me a lot!
Thing number three; I really want to do a cleanse of some kind, I just don't really know where to begin. But I think it would be good for me, get all the toxins out of my body and what not.. So if anyone has any suggestions on that front, they would be appreciated! :)
And thing number four; Did you know that if you're in a relationship for a long period of time you forget how to be single? It's like you don't know what to do with yourself. I'm reintroducing myself to...myself. And I'm kind of an awesome person... (That sounded really conceited!) I've grown a lot in the past few years, and now in the past few weeks, and I like what I see. Hey guys, looks like I've grown up a little.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 7:13 PM 2 comments
Labels: BabyGirl, best friends., happiness, Life.
So I was coping. Living. Attempting to move on with my life. I had even gone two whole days without crying. And then, I got on facebook. And its been less than two weeks. And he has a new girlfriend. (Add in certain expletive, but I'm censoring myself...) Are you for real? So it was all bull.... I was so mad, I can't even explain it. I have legitimately never been that pissed off in my entire life! I was shaking like a leaf on a tree, on a windy fall day. I was so mad, it made me dizzy. So everything he said to me. Lies. He couldn't "handle the distance?" He couldn't handle being around other females. God, she's not even pretty!! And yes, I'm bitter. And yes, I'm livid. I'm shaking right now just talking about it. I was trying to be so mature about everything. I was trying not to hate him. I was trying to understand. But now, I hate him. Now, I'll act like a crazy bitter ex. Now, I never want to see him again. And now, I'm done. I'm going to focus on me. I'm going to focus on my little one. I'm going to live my life, go out, be with the people that actually do care about me. And I'm going to try to forget him. Because clearly, he isn't the man I thought he was. He's just a little boy who can't handle real life.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 10:59 AM 2 comments
Labels: Life.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
We were supposed to be together forever.
He wasn't supposed to hurt me.
He wasn't supposed to make me cry.
I should be mad at him, but I'm not.
I should hate him, but I don't.
The truth is, I still love him as much as I ever did.
And, if he asked, I would take him back in a second.
Because, this whole living without him thing.
It just hurts too much...
Posted by NeuroticLover at 11:15 PM 0 comments
Posted by NeuroticLover at 9:30 AM 0 comments
Labels: Heartbreak.
I can honestly say I didn't see this coming. He said it was just too hard. I can't hate him for telling me how he really feels, but my world pretty much came crashing down around me. We were supposed to be forever, he wasn't supposed to be the one to hurt me, even though I knew if we did break up he would be the one to do it. I've never had to go through this before, and I didn't have my sister, I don't know what I would have done. I went from sad to mad really quickly, and now I just feel numb. With spurts of sad and mad. My head hurts from crying, and my face is stained with tears. I feel like I can feel my heart breaking inside my chest, and there's nothing I can do about it. I didn't think forever would end so quickly... I thought we would be the exception. I was hoping for engagement, and he was pondering dumping me. I feel like an idiot, but there were no signs. If anything he's been more loving, we've talked more, and maybe that's what hurts the most. That I was completely blindsided. I took down all my walls for him, and now they're back up, and there's more of them. And I can't see myself ever being that open with a man again. I know one thing though, I'll never do long distance again...
Posted by NeuroticLover at 1:23 PM 5 comments
Labels: Life., long distance, Sissy
Posted by NeuroticLover at 1:43 AM 4 comments
Labels: Late nights, Life.
I'm so sick of this feeling. I'm sick of crying everyday, and crying myself to sleep every night. I'm sick of the stand still I'm at. I don't sleep anymore, I'm exhausted all the time. Nothing I ever do is good enough, for them, or for me. I go whole days without feeling truly happy, and if I'm being honest with myself I go two or three. And I know I sound whiny and that doesn't sound like much, but it can't be healthy. I hold myself back in everything I do. I sabotage everything I want. I have to make a conscious effort not to do so in my relationship.Some days I feel like my parents don't even like me, like its pointless to try to build our relationship back up to what it used to be. My father's never looked at me the same since he found out I was pregnant, and my mother's never understood my reasoning for anything. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, and I know they do to. But that doesn't change the fact that I betrayed their trust, that I shocked them with my actions, and that I don't know how to get things back. I'm afraid to be a real adult, get a real job and move out. Because what if I fail? What if something happens? I lose my job, can't pay my bills, and have to move back? I can play the what if game with myself all day, and I always lose! Its like I don't know how to be happy anymore. I mean I have my happy moments, and the occasional good day, but really truly happy? Its like I don't know the meaning... I don't know who I can talk to, and I don't know if it would even help. Sometimes I feel absolutely alone, and even though I know I'm not, that I'm surrounded by people most of the time. I'm terribly lonely. If I was a different kind of person I would have a drink or a smoke, my vice is writing. So I"m sorry if you made it this far, but this how I unload. This mass of insecurities and let's face it, self loathing (not to mention the fact I was crying the whole time writing this, and I already feel relieved) may be the only way I get any sleep tonight. Don't feel like you have to leave a comment, this one was just for me. I need for it to be out there. I need for it to not be inside of me anymore. It's the only step I can think to take to move forward, from where I currently am.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 11:10 PM 8 comments
Labels: Life.
So I was just roaming around the web, ya know dealing with the usual insomnia. And I cam across this article.
A mother may breastfeed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother's breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding…
Posted by NeuroticLover at 12:46 AM 3 comments
Labels: Mommy things
Watching the dolphin show. |
Weary of the elephants. |
Excited about the giraffes. |
Playing in the water. |
Braving the rides. |
Excited about her candy. |
Loving the train ride. :) |
Posted by NeuroticLover at 11:19 PM 4 comments
Labels: BabyGirl, Family, Weekend fun
Posted by NeuroticLover at 9:24 AM 2 comments
Labels: BabyGirl, Family, Weekend fun
See, I get all wrapped up in my "real" life and it really isn't interesting at all, and so I don't post for a week. Shame on me! And this should be interesting because I can't type today! There's a lot of backspacing and mumbled frustrations going on... But here goes anyway.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 5:12 PM 8 comments
Labels: BabyGirl, best friends., Boredom., Flashback Friday
Okay peeps, I'm done with the mood I've been in for the past week and a half! Yea, things kinda suck sometimes, yea, I have a lot of stuff on my plate, yea, I'm a single mom of an almost three year old (and that stress is enough for any one person!!) and yea, I have things that I need to do, stuff I wish I could change, but the fact of the matter is, I'm sick and tired, of being sick and tired! I refuse to be a "Debbie Downer" anymore!!!
This week I am going to put forth a conscious effort to be happier. I'm going to start getting up and doing something physical in the morning, I'm going to eat right, and dammit I'm gonna get a good nights sleep!! So there's my little rant. Any tips on keeping a positive a attitude, when you kinda just want to curl up in a ball until all the bad stuff goes away? Healthy eating tips? Ways to keep motivated about working out? I'd love to hear all!
Posted by NeuroticLover at 5:07 PM 2 comments
I don't know what it is about this past week, but I'm a wreck! Everything seems to have piled up on top of each other in the worst way... If its not one thing, its ten other things, and I'm feeling really burnt out this weekend. I wish I could just get away from everything for like a week, or even just a long weekend. I'm sleep deprived, I'm stressed over everything, I'm just not fairing well. My moods been dark all week, and I can't seem to snap out of it. Not for any amount of time, at least... I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to handle this, I just know I need a break. But the fact is, I'm not gonna get one. So I really need to figure something out...
Posted by NeuroticLover at 1:49 PM 2 comments
Come on, who doesn't love free stuff?! Especially cute stuff from a very cute girl?! Raven over at A Momma's Desires and Pacifiers is having, what I like to call, a spring cleaning giveaway. And I just entered, but you shouldn't, because I want to win!! ...okay, okay, go enter, but only because you should check out the rest of her blog world (don't skip the vlogs people!!!)
She's HIGH-LARIOUS!!
She's well written.
Doesn't hurt that she's easy on the eyes.
Yea, I stole this off her page. Don't judge me!! ;) |
Posted by NeuroticLover at 4:29 PM 1 comments
Labels: Giveaway.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 10:53 AM 0 comments
Labels: Mother's Day.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 11:16 PM 0 comments
Labels: 30 Day Challenge, Fear
On a broad scale?
Posted by NeuroticLover at 11:30 PM 0 comments
Labels: 30 Day Challenge, life
Posted by NeuroticLover at 12:27 PM 0 comments
Posted by NeuroticLover at 12:05 AM 2 comments
Day 17 - A picture of something that has had a huge impact on your life lately.
Posted by NeuroticLover at 11:42 PM 0 comments
Dear, dear bloggy readers I apologize for my absence. This past week has been crazy, and I''m not even sure why, since nothing very exciting has been going on, but I'm baby free for a bit today so once I shower and get a few things done around the house I will (hopefully) return with a photo catch up of the challenge at the very least! For now I leave you with this:
Posted by NeuroticLover at 12:26 PM 3 comments
So I follow this lovely blog Romance In A Glance. Its a super fun blog that highlights all things romantic (obviously). And there's a fun little giveaway going over there
so get your booties over there and check it out!! |
Posted by NeuroticLover at 3:22 PM 2 comments
Labels: Giveaway.